Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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