mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
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