I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
