Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You need Xanax blowdarts
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
