at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
