Your tits are I can't wait for
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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