Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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