Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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