Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
