What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
