Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
