i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
