Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
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