a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
