i already hear my dad disowning me
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
