I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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