I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
it was like having sex with a tree stump
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
