It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
