I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
