They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
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