At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
