sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
