i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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