I love black thongs
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
