he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
