is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
