When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
