We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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