Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
