I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
