I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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