OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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