do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
