This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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