When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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