I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
