This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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