S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
