The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
high people should be assigned attendants
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
