Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize