..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
he thought i was a dude.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
