so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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