i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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