just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
