I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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