told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
