Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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