i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
