Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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