at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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