i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm like, not good at living.
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