i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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