So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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