my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
